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The Fuel

The moon over me

The pink cotton nightgown I wore draped down to the asphalt as each step I took felt cold and the fog over the road ahead of me lay low to the Earth. I found myself walking down a nameless highway with no cars in sight and the darkness over me showed a bright golden moon. I stopped as the highway stretched far and lonely without connection to life. 

 

I looked to the side of the highway where the grass grew and the soil dipped low. My father sat in his wheelchaiir, and looked towards me and with his slurred speech, he said, "Is God coming with you?" I ran to him, because I wanted to hug him for the first time in six months. I kneeled down in front of him and wrapped his hands inside mine, and I stretched to kiss his forehead. "Don't forget me, and don't forget what I told you," he said. 

 

"I won't ever forget," I replied. I closed my eyes and breathed and raised my face to the sky as the night was bright with the moon closing in so close to me, reaching for my face. 

 

The moon spoke words I was familiar with, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am you God. I will strengthen you, and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand," it said to me with verses.

 

My father held my hand, and kissed my palms, "Remember ice cream," he said. 

 

I couldn't hold my joy as I jumped and my father laughed with me. "God IS coming, and I am here with you," he said.

 

I pushed his wheelchair down the nameless highway, and although no cars were in sight, we rode life together with God.

 

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Oh, sweet baby.

Rambo and I were trying to plan of a way to help Karina when a large truck pulled to the front of the dilapitated house. 

 

Karina came out with one of her twin babies. "This is Boris," she said, introducing the cuddly baby boy to me and Rambo.

 

Rambo jumped from the floor and ran to the back room, behind the house. I knew it was about the bicycle ride to this house.

 

The man inside the truck came out with a shotgun slung around his shoulder, and walked to the broken front door.

 

"Is this your house?" the man asked me, wiping his forehead, because it was nearing the end of summer and the sun was still out.

 

"Yes, it's mine and my sisters," I told him. 

 

"I saw a black boy riding his bicycle. I wanted to know if it was licensed and if he had permission to ride," the man said. His dark hair and curly beard over his face made him looked like the brunt of man. He sniffed and walked into the room, as I stepped back and Karina swayed the baby to sleep.

 

"He's probably just around the block and not inside this house," I replied.

 

"Someone reported him riding fast and you were on a longboard," he said. He leaned with his elbow to the wall, and his right leg swung over to the left, stretching his hip. "Just need to check his license, is all."

 

"Well, I have no clue, and it was just me and her here," I told him.

 

He walked towards me and sniffed my face, "Black Irish, written all over you," he said. "Why does your sister look like that?"

 

"We have different fathers," I told him. I stepped back again, almost reaching the other room.

 

"Want to hold my cousin?" Karina asked him. She handed Boris to the man, and he almost drueled from the soft and gentle whimper of Boris in his large muscular hold. "He's pure."

 

The man cuddled Boris and smiled, and said, "Goo goo ga ga, sweet baby." He swayed Boris side to side, and Karina reached for Boris and took him from the large bearded monster. "Oh, that felt surreal. I just about melted."

 

"He's a newborn, two weeks," I told him. 

 

The man looked up to the ceiling and I could tell he felt euphoric from the sweetness and gentleness of Boris inside his arm. 

"Never felt fuzzy like this before," he said, holding his hands to his heart. "Sweet angel!"

 

"I think that calls for a celebration, at another place somewhere," I hinted.

 

"Oh...my sweet," he held his palms together and covered his face. "Yes, I never touched a baby before. I never knew."

 

I smiled and looked to Karina and she went to the other room, still swaying Boris in her arms. "I think we have to be quiet now, because the baby will go to sleep."

 

"Oh, inhale," the man said, breathing into his lungs. "So you listen, the bicycle is outside, and the boy is not here, but I'm going to let go, and assume he has a license. If he doesn't, I'm going to find him and put him in jail."

 

"I will make sure he has his license with him," I replied.

 

The man stomped outside in his leather boots and his shotgun and left the house in his large truck. I closed the broken door, and looked to the other room where Karina sat near a sofa where the babies laid asleep. I took Karina's hand and we walked to the front room and I sat her down on the floor. "We have to stay outside. Let the babies sleep for a while," I told her.

 

I took my shoulder bag and took out my hairbrush, and sat Karina down in front of me. I brushed Karina's hair as we watched the front door, in case the man in the large truck would be back. We sat for an hour, just brushing her silky black hair.

 

"Is Rambo okay?" she asked me.

 

"He will tend to your wound later," I said. 

 

"Is it safe now?" I heard Rambo asked. Karina stood up, and ran to him and hugged his flat stomach. "It's okay. We will be okay," Rambo said. 

 

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9/11 Psalm

Forgive us, Father, for the sins of my ancestors

Restore unto us a life fulfilling in joy and mercy

 
Forgive us for each sin we carry and free us from our past

Make us vessels of grace as we tread onto the future

 
Forgive us, Father, for You are our fortress and deliverer

I call unto You, Lord, as my shield and my salvation.


The deaths of the innocent marked the new century

As we now face snares of death all over the world.

 
Forgive us, Father, and free us of the burden of deaths

Lead the poor and weary to a path of love and providence

 
Forgive us, Father, and heal all wounds to restoration

Diffuse all upheavals and make peace amongst all hate


Forgive us, Father, as we face torrents of destructions

Let not the snares of death overtake us, instead defend us

 
I cry to You, Lord, in fear and trembling

But Your peace covers me all of my days

 
Forgive us, Father, and keep us from unrighteousness

Your ways are blameless, therefore teach us, Lord.

 
Forgive us, Father, according to our deeds and humility

Only through You, will we change our ways

 
Forgive us, Father, as my enemies pursue me,

Strengthen me and uphold me, Lord, and sustain me.

 
Millions fall as adversaries overtook the nation

But with You, Father, we are forgiven and freed


Rescue us, Father, for violent men overtook me,

But, You saved me from my enemies and I am exalted.

 
Rescue us, Father, for our children are in sorrows

Do not let our wrongdoings scar our future generations.

 
Rescue us, Father, as fire and fury blaze to dark clouds

Bring us rain to wash away our sins, and raise a canopy over us

 
Rescue us, Father, and lead us to a strong foundation of truth

Do not let the blasphemous overtake us and our nations

 
Heal us, Father, and reach us through Your holy spirit

Bring us to triumph and rescue us, forever more.

 
God Bless. Love, Diana Kurniawan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No more cheddar. No macaroni.

All the almond milks in the world won't explain the lightbulb frenzy at Knox. People trampled over each other, and the isles were blown apart. A whole crowd of people were in a hurry to get to the check lane to purchase all of the light products. Some bought flashlights, and some bought desk lamps and floor lamps and of course, lightbulbs.

 

"What did that Baptiste tell the world?" asked Rambo, in the middle of the crowd of shoppers.

 

"The usual, giving the latest craze for 'The Orderlies," I said. 

 

"What else?" asked Rambo.

 

"Strange things. No more cheddar. No macaroni," I replied.

 

"WHAT!" said Rambo. "That's my food! All of Tier 2 and 3 shoppers will starve!"

 

I looked to him and asked him, "Where could it have gone?"

 

"We don't have time for this. I need us to go to Karina," said Rambo.

 

"First, mint, peppermint, and lavender soap," I told him. I grabbed the towels at the endcap of the aisle and ran to the first aid section and took all the aspirin tubings and stretch-fabric bandages from Tier 1 and went to the check out lane. Rambo followed me and we left Knox and went outside. It was an hour after I got to Knox and it snowed outside. 

 

Rambo took his bicycle from the rack and I jumped on it and rode it with Rambo standing on the wheel spurring and holding on to me on my shoulder.

 

"Go left on Josephine and four miles down, turn left on Downing," said Rambo.

 

We arrived at Downing and 20th, as Rambo jumped off the bicycle and ran to a dilapitated house with a broken gate and a broken glass window with a curtain covering the inside of the house. Rambo knocked on the door and I parked the bicycle and held on to my shoulder pack full of my purchased items.

 

A young girl with taupe skin and slanted eyes opened the door. Her belly bulged, most likely from the pregnancy weight.

 

"No more cheddar. No macaroni," Rambo said.

 

The young girl cried as I ran to her side and held her up. "We'll try to find some as soon as possible," I told her. "What happened to you?"

 

"I gave birth two weeks ago, out of wedlock, and out of my control," she said. "I haven't been able to go anywhere."

 

"How did you get to this house? Do you live here?" I asked her.

 

"She is orphaned like me, and no one knew about it," said Rambo.

 

"Who did this to you?" I asked.

 

"A man with a car," Karina said. 

 

"A CAR? A Baptiste?" I asked.

 

"Possibly," said Rambo. "Who would have a car nowadays?"

 

"I'm Tier 1, we can purchase something else for foods, but let me see your wounds," I asked her.

 

"A man took a knife and almost stabbed me," said Karina, as she lifted her shirt and showed me a slash to the side of her pancreas. I opened my shoulder pack and took my towellette and cleaned the lashed areas as some blood came out. It took all of my travel towellettes to clean it and I crushed all of the aspirin and palpated her lacerations with it. I covered it with the towels and wrapped her with the bandage around her stomach. Karina cried and knelt down and covered her eyes. "It hurts my body too much," she said. 

 

"How did you escape him?" Rambo asked. He was sitting on the ground that was dirty and dusty.

 

"I told him that my body will serve as evidence because I knew some other orphans from online school in the library and they'll find me," Karina said. 

 

"But you didn't tell anyone, and no one in the school knew who you were?" Rambo asked. 

 

I took the peppermints and gave it to Karina and took a mint and gave it to Rambo. "To calm you," I told them. "I have to chew on those in front of my computer, and meditate or my stress goes high levels." I kept the lavender soap and inhaled its scent to my nose to calm myself down. 

 

They sniffed on the mints and inhaled the soothing scent, then chewed it inside their mouths. They closed their eyes and calmed down for a while.

 

"Let's start with a plan," I said. The babies cried, and Karina stood up to run to the other room.

 

"All of the children will starve," said Rambo.

 

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Evening thoughts

Little girls will dance on the streets. Pink ruffles skirts and rainbow socks, with the clouds in the blue sky over us all.

 

The sun shall rise on the East and sunsets on the West. Faithfully, the sun won't disappear as you sometimes felt in mid-day sadness.

 

The birds will chirp on branches in the morning, and they will serenade us on our walks in life.

 

Once, time felt surreal. With the death toll surpassing 27 million in mid-September from a new viral infection. The changes it brought took lives and cost us our economy.

 

This too will one day be over, if we could look above. Knowing that the same stars at night were there when the wheel was first invented, or when lepers walked the streets of the world.

 

What time brought hasn't been comfortable and took some of the best people to a place beyond this Earth. But, where would we be if we didn't look at the sky, the sun, the stars and the clouds and bare with the ever changing weather, as summer changes to fall and winter comes to blossom into spring.

 

Time tested us all, and time tested us still. It won't let us be subject to stagnant progress, for each passing day all of life furthers on, and won't let us be still.

 

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Hail, Dynamo Orderlies.

The sirens went off as all of Knox was at a stand still. The screens on the grocery walls showed an emergency signal of the news. 

 

"For immediate release, our esteemed leader, Giuseppe Baptiste, was seen in front of the Buckingham Palace, where the longest running monarchy once stood in England, overthrown by The New Order and its party," said the news anchor. "Since The New Order came to power, all of the world bow to our esteemeed leader, and it shall be our destiny to still be under his commands and practice conscious shopping at our local grocery stores."

 

Prior to Giuseppe Baptiste, his father was the leader of the New Order, and his father poisoned the latest monarch of England and took over the palace and declared victory. Arose his progeny of leaders who were his daughter, sons, cousins and his in-laws who became statesman and leaders of The New Order all over the Earth. The murder of the British Monarchy were kept under the radar for Giuseppe Baptiste and his ancestors used guerilla warfare and intelligentsia, once a method utilized by the Fascists and Communist Government of the Old World, before the White Plaque.

 

Giuseppe Baptiste stood on the podium, behind the open quadrant in front of the palace, and raised his right palms in the air and spoke into his ear microphones, 

 

"Hail, my dynamo orderlies of the new world,              (Blinked in morse code: N)

thy presence is an aroma of chili and peppers             (Blinked in morse code: O)

scented with an elixir of youth and laborous passion.   (Blinked in morse code: M)

I, your noble leader, hath with divine intention,           (Blinked in morse code: O)

a most unquenchable love for you.                             (Blinked in morse code: R)

Unlike the ancient ceramics of the old world,               (Blinked in morse code: E)

I come bearing gifted annointment of shark tooth        (Blinked in morse code: C)

and bearings of gold and titanium.                          (Blinked in morse code: H)

 

My lovers of my new world, I urge a most desperate    (Blinked in morse code: E)

need of a future dispensation.                                    (Blinked in morse code: D)

Truly all worths of love requieres costs,                        (Blinked in morse code: D)

and let thine cost be my request.                                (Blinked in morse code: A)

To only see the light and nothing else.                         (Blinked in morse code: R)

Be of good soldier with truth in thine heart,                  (Blinked in morse code: N)

What is not more worthy than light itself?                    (Blinked in morse code: O)

 

All energies and fuel be at your call,                             (Blinked in morse code: M)

for my sorrows shall be no more,                                 (Blinked in morse code: A)

once all products of light be diminished and gone.         (Blinked in morse code: C)

As your leader, I ask for your mercy,                            (Blinked in morse code: A)

to give to the light, all that is of request.                      (Blinked in morse code: R)

Everything to be purchased until it disappears.              (Blinked in morse code: O)

Not until then, will you see me as your true star            (Blinked in morse code: N)

of this dark world to follow it anew.                              (Blinked in morse code: I)

 

The people howled, and one man behind me yelled, "Our leader is a THICK, ZESTY, STROGANOFF!!!!"

 

The entire Knox clapped their hands, and as seen on the screen, Giuseppe Baptiste nodded his head forward and stood up, all five feet of him and placed only his right palm up, and the crowd howled more and more.

 

All of London was in frantic for lightbulbs and all lamps and the sirens blared once again. Everyone ran in all directions, shouting,"The Light! The Light! He shall be the light!" Giuseppe Baptiste stepped down from the podium and walked into the palace, to perhaps rest for the remainder of the day.

 

All of Knox, where I stood at this moment, wrecked havoc. Everyone ran to the housewares and lightbulb sections and took as many products as possible. The whole time, I was worried about macaroni and cheese as it seemed his morse code gave me a signal that there would be a cheddar shortage. But how was all this possible? Why lightbulbs? Far were the days of carbohydrate loadings, but I was never a fan of cheddar after all.

 

I stood in place still at the popcorn isle, in midst of madness, as I saw Rambo approaching me.

 

"Jake, I need your help?" Rambo said, out of breath.

 

"Where have you gone? Did you at least ride your bicycle?" I asked him.

 

"No, I walked it. But, I found another one, this time a vulnerable," Rambo said, he turned around as I followed in a hurry. "She was stabbed."

 

In the era of the New World, a vulnerable meant almost homeless. As I followed Rambo, I knew he needed me for aid, first aid to be exact. I knew first aid like my dining table. With my Father as the surgeon at Banner, I was trained since I was in my mother's womb.

 

"Karina is her name, she bore a pair of twins two weeks ago," Rambo said.

 

"How old is she?" I asked.

 

"Twelve," Rambo said. 

 

We ran amongst the crowds of shoppers of all tiers all across Denver, all in a frantic to buy lightbulbs and lamps and anything that would bear light. 

 

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Giuseppe Baptiste

Rexies or not, I had to end the conversation. She was beautiful, but I fear The New Order.

 

After the White Plaque, every nation gathered together and a majority of nations in the world, such as all countries in South America, China, Korea, all of Russia and Africa and United States of America decided to follow The New Order. To synthesize a new method for the betterment of human kind, of a human race that were in political aggreement as the world watched the whole world diverged into parts. Some countries decided to become neutral, such as Norway and Switzerland, Fiji and Australia and some smaller islands nations in the Pacific, but most countries wanted to become a part of The New Order Regime. 

 

The leader chosen was Giuseppe Baptiste, because he could blink in morse code and every word he uttered in speeches became eloquent and graceful. Besides speaking in free verse, he was fluent in Shakespeare and plays the violin. He was a small man with a huge mind and futuristic ideals, and all policemens and policewomen loved him. He was part Italian and French and a descendant of an African Merchant from Nairobi, Kenya. He was a jewel to the world and he had blue eyes, which was recessive since the White Plaque decimated most blue-eyed individuals since they were more easily infected due to genetic recessiveness. Some of these amusing changes baffled me when I learned from my Father, but these things happened, and all kids were taught to fear The New Order.

 

The New Order desires to advance the world through the ideals of those in their circle. To advance The New Order was to advance the human race. To please its circles of allies was the goal of The New Order, and those who were its citizens must work to please the generations of their progenies and their parties, otherwise, one must be forced to emigrate to the coldness of The North Pole and build a new community there to start anew.

 

These were the days of my life.

 

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The Weeping Willow

In a peaceful meadow I stood on the green grass moist from the morning dew. The skylight was still at dusk as I looked over the weeping willow far yonder. The sky opened at cloud speed and the sun rising with a pinkish hallow. I sat down on the grass, with my flat belly yearning for bedtime stories.

 

"How in all imaginations would I ever see the French Riviera in love?" I wondered. In my white linen dress, with all the purity of my soul as my heart broke in halves because this life was an incubus of scornful men. I wept on the grass with my buttocks wet from the moisture and my face down towards the Earth. Unplanned circumstances led me to a haunting life and although I surrendered, a part of me yearned for the dreams.

 

"Diana!" I heard my Mami's voice and I looked up. "You think too much!"

 

Mami stood holding hands with Papi, in front of the weeping willow. They wore matching blouses of imperial yellow with white linen pants as my Papi waved his hand calling me to come closer.

 

I stood up with excitement as this body was five years old again as I ran down from the hilly meadow to where my parents were. My Papi hugged me as I wrapped my arms around his belly. "I love you, you're my daughter, Diana," he said, endearingly.

 

My Mami hugged me after and told me, "I love you too much," she said, as she wiped her tears. "Don't let go, Mami," I told her.

 

They held me close as I held on as strong as I possibly could, as we walked underneath the weeping willow.

 

"Don't ever let go, Diana," my Papi said.

 

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Rexies and PB & J

The aisles were ghostly because only fifty people were allowed at one time as the attendants kept count. I took a right towards the cereal aisle and looked at the top shelf. The organic cereals were only available for Tier 1 and I wanted to grab the peanut butter and jelly flavor when a sweet voice came from behind me.

 

"PB & J is a classic," she said. I turned around and a wavy haired brunette stood before me.

 

"You shop Tier 1?" I asked. Her voice reminded me of soft rain that chilled my vertebrae.

 

"Afraid so," she smiled and showed me her shoulder with the chip underneath her blouse. 

 

"Let's check," I asked her. Before we could build any form of friendship, The New Order only allowed the same Tiers to communicate or build relationships, and only those who would further the goals of The New Order through inter-marriages would be allowed to date. The New Order restricts dating in certain communities because those who were attractive, intelligent and from high level incomes were picked to benefit the higher tiers, thus benefitting the fulfillment and desires of The New Order to keep the tax levels at a maximum. 

 

We stood back shoulder to shoulder, my left shoulder as all males were to have, to her right shoulder as all females were normally assigned. Then we took our time device with alligned all social medias and all forms of identifications, to synchronize to check if our relationship and communications would benefit The New Order. 

 

Most relationships in our world now, as a matter of fact, most families were formed based on the needs of The New Order Regime and those in the government and its politicians and social circles. If the relationship couldn't be verified as a benefit to the regime, it was forced to be dissolved. 

 

Our synchronizations didn't verify.

 

"I'm sorry," as our time devices beeped an error message. She looked to the floor, and raised her head slowly, "I'm going to end up in Tier 3 in my future. I am so scared," she said. 

 

"You don't know that?" I replied. 

 

"I have a Rexi, would that interest the regime? If I shared my Rexi?" she told me.

 

"Really? Do you have a picture of it?" I was interested.

 

She took her time device and scrolled to her holograms and pushed the button. Rexies were cross-breeds of puppies and calves that became an animal the size of a bear cub with strong legs and arms for our modal of transportation. After The White Plaque, all forms of public transportations were exterminated and only the military and police were to utilize all vehicles. Uber and Lyft were old dominions and they were gone after millions died as their vehicles became a fomite to transmissions for The White Plaque. My Father said it was the most devastating event in history because ever since then, everyone walked and began to raise animals as transportations, and that was how Rexies became a trend. 

 

Other animals such as bears, crocodiles, hippopotamus, seals, goats and everything else also cross-bred but Rexies were swift and docile, whereas everything else were difficult to train.

 

Her Rexi had short hair, and the size of a mid-size bear with calico colors. 

 

"Is it part feline?" I asked, with a smile.

 

"Perhaps in its geneaology, but Rexies are mixed, so there is no way to tell," she said. 

 

"Cute, though," I told her. I placed my palms inside my pants pockets, hiding my time device on my wrist to evade any humiliations on both parts.

 

"I'll take a box of the organic PB & J cereal still," she said.

 

I smiled from ear to ear and felt a jolt inside my gut. Would Rambo approve of this? He's my closest ally.

 

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Forgiven

I am forgiven, for my past sins and the sins of my Father and those of my ancestors. I am forgiven for the journey that is a struggle and the walk with depression is a constant miracle, away from the devil's plan of total anguish and instant death. This life is forgiven, for anything that I was assaulted for, and for every and any arguments the devils retorts towards God.

 

The life I am is full of mercy and I am a living being of miraculous grace.

 

The forgiveness upon me gives me the right at the King's court and this forgiveness encourages the future, and hate is dumbfounded; because the game that hatred plays is more important than the trophy they claim to earn. I am forgiven for everything that accuses me of sins and I am forgiven for the sins the accusers labels upon me. I am forgiven for every instant evil prayers flies out of the devil's mouth out of deceit, greed, racism and injustice, because this forgiveness wreaks havoc on their selfish needs.

 

Forgiveness is in my best interest and benefits me because the education gives me skills as I walk in joy and fullfilling contentment. I am forgiven because I forgive and strength upholds me and places me at the right hand of God. I love this forgiveness because I breathe in wholeness and love and I even mezmerize the eyes of those who once batters my life. This forgiveness is truth and honesty in the flesh with tangible results that I can touch and marvel as I live with a youthful heart and soul. 

 

I am forgiven with an evergreen forgiveness, especially given to me, and no one else because I am not just special. I am holy and divine because I forgive. I am not crazy because I am forgiven and there will never be any form of insanity about me, for I am diligent and prodigious and victory is a guaranty. I am forgiven and there is no mark of victim over me, instead a mark of love, greatness and favor on my forehead. There is no defeat over me or my life, because I am forgiven and it is a winning sign.

 

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