On New Years Eve, I was sick. I was so sick that I slept at five in the afternoon and woke up the next day to go to work at five in the morning. I was so sick that whole time and all I wanted to have this year was a healthy year. Not only that, perhaps it was the flu that caught my thoughts in a wind to think of the people I lost, but I was reminded of Jeff and Jeff. Two Jeffs that I knew although they didn't know each other, who lost their lives in the Summer of 2023 from self-harm. I thought of them and thought of how much mental health effect our lives.
This year, as I am on the mend, I want to be healthy, mind, body and soul. I wanted to start a new year's resolution, but I won't call it that. I will call it just being a better me. I don't want to sound so cliche of starting a resolution but finding it hard to keep up, instead I want to just keep myself at bay with my mental health to be able to have a healthier mindset. Speaking life to myself, and to others. Being optimistic to myself and to others. Minding my own business, and won't ask about personal things towards others unless they volunteer to. I want to be mindful of my own capacity of humanity in the raw. I don't want to overexert myself and become so overwhelmed that I am thinking too much.
I will keep it simple, and chill down. Not becoming too super excited when something crazy happens in politics or becoming angry when something bad happens with the new Trump Administration (I didn't vote for him). I will just keep a low profile and just chill. Just chillin' means just keeping steady too, and it will eventually help me in the long run. I plan to pray often, just being me and keeping my spiritual vitamin at a high level so I can level up when grouchy customers come my way at work.
This year, I will just want to maintain calm, remembering my friends, especially those who have been there for me in the deepest darkest days, and being cool as a cucumber on other days to keep myself sane. Just being better will help me in the long run, I believe. I will take that to my driving skills too, not driving too fast, just right and just relaxing behind the wheel, not rushing to anything. I will read more and do more yoga, and be better at becoming myself. I want to prepare for my 49th and 50th birthday to be more comfortable in my skin. I want to be able to say to myself down the line, that I was practicing mindfulness by just being a better me. I want to look back when I'm 80 or 90 or even 100, that I started this journey at becoming a better me with mindfulness a long time ago and I am becoming better and better as a person.
#Justwrite