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The Fuel

Making a Difference this Christmas

I'm normally just a calm person and have occasional bouts of negative thoughts from the PTSD and Depression. It is especially difficult for me during holiday seasons, Valentine's Day, my birthday and any holiday there calls to be merry as I can be. The negative thought just sometimes come in and out and I have to deal with it. Yesterday was a difficult day for me, on a Sunday, December 22nd, 2024. I was sitting at church and enjoying the children's presentation on their performance for Christmas, when suddenly I got the negative thought that I need to witness them and realize how their future is so bright but my life or future is so grim. I was so hurt by the thought and I didn't know why I felt that way. In a split second, I began to sob and felt so low that I forgot that I was a church and kept sobbing although no one noticed. The bout of negativity just came over me and hurt me like a stab from a knife inside my chest. 

 

I realized that it was just a thought that I could erase, and it wasn't my reality. I began to count the blessings in my life and the things that God had made a blessing out of nothing for me. The time that I was saved in a winter accident, the time the rapist almost killed me but I stayed alive, the time when I was almost killed by the group of assaulters who hurt me. The time that I almost died from suicide and the time God gave me a meteor shower for my birthday. Every January 3 to January 4, there is a meteor shower called Quadrantid over the skies and it is the most beautiful blessing that I witnessed.

 

I first discovered it during my roughest moment in life, the time when I was 37 and I didn't think I would see 40. It wasn't that long ago, and I realized that moment was my personal miracle in life. I didn't search for it, but deep down there was a still small voice that told me to go outside at midnight and see the skies and to wait there until four in the morning. It was God's way of telling me to stay faithful to him and to anticipate glory instead of suicide. I saw several meteor showers and I realized that it was for me. I didn't know where the sadness had gone afterwards, but I was astonished and not at all suicidal. The negative thought disappeared and I found myself counting stars and it was my evidence that God showed up.

 

This Christmas, during the suicidal thought at church this past Sunday, I reached out to some of my best friends and they had some wisdom given to me. One of them told me that I already made a difference in life and I am going to keep making a difference in my future in my own life and others as well. That sentiment gave me a revelation. Sometimes, I don't realize how important I am in the lives of others, because I am so internally focused on myself and how I was affected by others, that I didn't realize how I also make a difference in other people's lives as well. I failed to realize that other people are affected by me too, and that unknowingly, my intentions, and good deeds, and other blessings I gave towards others had made a difference in their lives. I thought I was a solo traveller in the land of negativity and abandonment, and no one cared about me because I meant nothing to everyone. But that's not true. I mean a lot to my Mami and also my late beloved Papi. I am my brother's and sister's sister and I am valuable to them. I am a good friend and best friends to a lot of my friends and that means a lot too. I am worthy human being and I am worthy of living a good life and a good future. I am worth God's blessings and miracles and I don't need signs or wonders, but God sent me a meteor shower. It was a defining miracle in my life and it is a defining life that I have. 

 

This Christmas, as I love others, I will also love myself. I won't forget how valuable I am and how much of a kindred spirit I am to my best friends and my pet. How I am so loved that they can't live without me. That they think of me all the time and they think the world of me. That God thinks the world of me and though that this world needs someone like me in it. 

I realize I have negative thoughts, but I also know I am loved and that I am a positive influence in other people's lives and that I have made a lot of difference in my own life and in the lives of others. I have dreams to follow and put to work, and I have people and friends to build relationships with, and more people in my future who will cherish me. I have countries to travel to and even other states in America that I need to travel to. I have a big life ahead of me. 

 

This Christmas is not a time of negative thoughts, no matter who you are and whether or not you have PTSD and Major Depression. I know it's the hardest time of the year for some people, but I hope someone will stumble upon my blog and read this and decide to become a positive thinker even if it's just from this Christmas. That this person is directed away from suicide and self harm and realize that he or she is a difference maker in life, their own lives and others as well. That I am making a difference. I am so grateful for this Christmas and I hope we will all live to see millions more Christmases to come. 

 

#JustWrite

 

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Normal

Today I realized that my normal was a miracle in itself. Ten years ago, I didn't think I would live past 40, and I had suicidal ideations inside my head, practicing power dialogues to help myself to take suicide out of my vocabulary. Today, I'm working and earning a living, although not stellar, but I'm grateful.

 

This morning I drove to work early and got to my undesignated parking spot and took a breather. I looked to the left of me and the same white Ford van was there since I left the day before. The inside was full of clothes and dirty dishes, as I realized that someone had been living there, inside the van and perhaps even working at the same retail store I work for. My eyes moistened because I knew this person has been living there for the past few months, just not telling anyone about the parking situation. I realized that the normal for the person living inside the car was very different from mine. Just a step away to the left, was how close the situation was for me.

 

Every Christmas, I was always depleted with money and as always with my monthly wages throughout the year. I guess that's what barely scraping it meant. But, I will do something even with as few as $20 this year, and I will put it towards something for someone. I have expenses to pay, but I realized this morning that each person was given something different and it could have been me, living in the van. I won't be able to put too much into it, because I want to have some presents for my niece and nephews, but I'm going to save up my dollars and donate it. I haven't donated in a long time because I've been helping my Mom with rent but I felt called this morning because of the person living inside the van. 

My normal became routine for me, but I felt thankful for the things I have. The running water, the shower and water I get to drink, the food I have, and the job I work for. The Mom who is still with me, and the friends who love me. This morning was a miracle I never expected, because I never thought I would be this grateful. I hated my life just a decade ago and before these past few years, because I was poor, suicidal and single and still am, but I had no sense of gratitude inside of me since my focus was skewed. I paid attention to the things that I lacked and everything I wished for, without realizing that my normal was a dream to someone in this world. No matter who the person living inside the van was, that person had made a difference in me. It wasn't intentional, but it made all the difference in me.


I used to serve dinner for the homeless because I felt so happy doing so, but it wasn't just because of that, now that I thought about it. It was because I wanted to make the people at the shelter feel better. I wanted to give them a nice day out of their tough normal. I served the homeless for a while, but I felt it wasn't long enough. I had to stop because my parents were becoming ill and my father eventually passed on. Because of this morning, I want to get back into serving the homeless. I want to help my Mom first and then as time will permit, I hope I will get to start a new normal that will involve helping others more, and less pondering about my life. I realized my norm might even be worse than others, but I am grateful I am not a scorekeeper, just a sensitive Jane with a willing heart.

 

#JustWrite

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