Perhaps it my fate to die alone, but who cares, right? I'm not a new victim to the lonely fate and the single life. I'm not ashamed of it, but I can still dream can't I?
I dream I'm in Paris, just like Emily, but with myself and standing in front of the Eifel Tower just letting the sun beaming down on me. I ask a stranger where the entrance to go up is and the person ignores me. I finally find it on my own and I walk myself up there to take a picture from the top with my cell phone. Download the picture to IG and memorialize it. Eifel Tower, my highest climb in France.
Scratch that, I'm in Rome, where I always dream to vacation. I will be inside the Vatican, and I'm happy that confession is going on, or do they still do that? Who knows.
I'm finding myself surrounded by majesty and I don't care what I look like or how I feel. I'm always feeling lesser than and I think it's the child rape. Not my fault. It's sort of a condition that was injected in me by a predator. But, in this dream, I'm captivated by Rome and the Vatican, and it won't be long until I can go to the Gondola river, that's what I'm going to call it, yes...which is not what is proper, but who cares. I'm dreaming and I'm doing the creating, so be it.
Then I hop on a plane to Portugal and see the Arms of Jesus standing in the center of the country and marvel. It's love at first sight, Jesus. It must be love and I will forever be with Jesus all of my life. I will travel to Greece and see the whole country, how can I not? And it's all in the budget of Google Earth. I will travel to see these great lands and not spend a dollar, but letting the eternal wonder seep inside my eyes of these magical travel plans. If I was to die alone, will there be extra credit in heaven for being well traveled through the computer? I hope so, because it's probably my grace to do it on my own.
I consider it a gift, being alone, and I'm going to stop letting myself get sad, instead gloat on the freedom of it all. It's not everyday I get to live in a peaceful state without the chaos of a large family. I'm me and all of me is all I have right now, and I need to be okay with it. I will be, once I am getting good at looking at the bright side of being single and poor. I'm preparing for it and I'm not going to be sad about being alone, instead I'll make travel plans, even through Google Earth. There is a dream that someone will be there and we will even be able to see Disneyland Tokyo, or go to Singapore and see the temples in Thailand and the beaches of Vietnam. I'm not sure how it will all pan out, but I will dream it and create it and make it a master plan.
In the mean time, I'll install Google Earth.
#JustWrite