It has been a sad week. I was sad about the election and the outcome of it. I wanted a woman President and she would have represented African and Asian Americans for all of us.
I voted, yet I felt my vote was ignored and it didn't amount to much compared to those in Wisconsin, or North Carolina or the other high electoral votes states. I felt that the voting process was already decided by white americans, both white men and white women, and my vote were lost in space. I felt a disparaging voice that never amounted to anything except the void of the loss. I felt like a woman before we were given the right to vote. It was already sad that women had to fight to vote, we weren't given the right, and now that we have the right, we're not allowed to become President.
I felt even more devastated by the plethora of graphs that were flooding the social media about the breakdown of votes. I was sad that white americans both men and women were in majority were pro-Trump, but I was more sad that Asian Americans were not included in the graph. I knew that Asian Americans only make up less than 10% of the population in the United States, but we were still a part of the group of voters. We were completely ignored and our votes were not shown in the graphs that flooded the social media about who voted for Kamala vs. Trump.
I really wanted Kamala to win, because for once, an Asian woman would have been recognized in office, whereas now and always, we have been ignored. I never see a camera on an Asian American congressman or congresswoman, and I couldn't even tell if there was any Asian Americans in office or not. I didn't see the social media news surrounding the Asian Americans senators or congressman who won the votes this time around. I felt with Kamala, Asian Americans would have more leverage and more platform that just the Crazy Rich Asians. I wanted a more legitimate platform and a more important role for an Asian American. I was really disappointed.
With Trump in office, there will be more slurs surrounding Chinese descent, and it will catapult to all Asian Americans and before we know it, the whole Anti-Asian Hate will rise again.
I promised myself today to not lose heart and to keep practicing the radical acceptance that I learned from therapy, but the risk felt too great.
I felt a risk beyond my control about racism that might happen to me, being Indonesian American and being a former immigrant, although I was naturalized. I felt like an animal seeking a home and acceptance with this Trump Presidency. It felt raw and hopeless and it felt like I needed to pray each day to keep the racists away. It felt bleak for me, because even in social media today, our votes were not shown in the breakdown of votes for Election 2024. I felt invisible.
I pray, each day and as always, The United States and its people won't become like Trump, although he is the President now. I pray we become better people, and a better country, not because of him, but because of the rest of us who still believe in the goodness of people, equality and equal opportunities, the right to health care and reproductive care, and many more. I will continue the good fight because I don't believe in Trump, and his Project 2025. I pray, there will be change.
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